Simulations Of God:
The definition of God and the beginning depends upon our definition of our self, of ourselves. Assume, along with modern consensus science (the ordinary science of today) that we began as primordial molecular configurations in the primeval seas of a planet with an atmosphere and that eventually we evolved into colonial protozoans, which then became various kinds of sea animals, which then became fish, which then climbed out onto the land became reptiles, eventually to evolve into mammals, then on through the simian line and finally into the larger-brained mammals that have dubbed themselves "Homo sapiens." Alternative origins postulate a divine creation of man separate from the rest of our planet and separate from the rest of the biology of the planet: a version with angels, or Christ, or Yahweh, and with some sort of intelligence, with various divine attributes, which created us as a special case. These are extreme systems of belief and of course there are many others.
God is assumed to be some form of intelligence which either set up evolution as it exists or, with a divine touch, wrought, out of notbing, instantaneous creations that became self-reproducing. Those who claim that they know God, that they are of God, that they are men and women of God and that God speaks directly through them to the rest of us, tell us through their writings and their speeches and their ways of life that God always was, always has been, is everywhere and always will be. We are told that he is omnipotent, omniscient, all-loving and all-merciful but we are told that he speaks through the limited instruments who claim they know him.
I have explored these spaces myself. I have gone into the belief systems summarized above, have lived out for hours, days and weeks these beliefs and the experiences consequent upon them, then retired from each of the systems, contemplated the results, contemplated the results in myself and in those around me, in my changed view, in external reality.
In summary, I find that if one constructs beliefs and lives them out, he sets up a theater and a play within that theater and he himself is the author, the composer, the director, the actor and the audience. This capacity of man's rather large brain is to be respected. It is a complex capability which should be understood. It should be understood that as one steps aside and looks at this capability and its performance in the actual flesh, that then he arrives at a pretty secure foundation within himself. He realizes that he is essentially alone and that his contacts with and feedbacks from others are through rather limited channels--channels prejudiced by his own beliefs and by the beliefs of those with whom he is communicating. He can eliminate fear, guilt, and all the other negative aspects of existence. He can also eliminate all the positive aspects of existence and finally arrive at what Franklin Merrell-Wolff (1) calls the state of "High Indifference."
The state of High Indifference is what I would call "neutral reinforcement." A neutral state, neither punishing nor rewarding, a state of understanding, of knowledge or jnana- yoga, beyond ananda, beyond bliss, a state far removed from the trivial primitive compassion of the usual sentimentality given in standard religions. If we pay close attention to our performances we find that neutral reinforcement is actually the most rewarding state we can achieve. It is the state of total objectivity. It is the state of the objective observer, including the objective observer observing himself as a very peculiar system of consciousness and of energies functioning according to laws which he is yet to understand. He is surrounded with mystery within his own structure, body, or essence. In this state, all or any of these are seeking understanding and some way of avoiding, obliterating or rewriting past misunderstanding. We observe what I have described here as the activity most valued by those in this state.
God, then, is the beginning and the beginning in self. The self is seeking its own beginnings and pushing those beginnings onto the universe as if it understood, as if the void gave birth in some intelligent fashion to that self which can play games with its own origins and can ascribe to a god these origins, although in truth it cannot and will not know its own origins at this point. This is a grievous revelation, a grievous discovery. All the past comforts from other beliefs are gone, this of course is only another belief, a current one in this particular entity to know that one cannot know, that one does not know God as the beginning. It is grievous for one to know that he can no longer be guilty, nor fearful nor angry. It is grievous to know that he can no longer be sexually attracted, repelled, rewarded, nor punished. In tbis state of neutral reinforcement, this state of High Indifference, even the grief is gone. One can no longer be grievous, one just is as he is, as he has been, and as he expects--but is never sure--that he will always be. He approaches his end, once again getting out of the state of High Indifference, contemplating the end of self; however, as he is, so he has been, will be, and may chance once again to appear, at least in some other form at some future time.
One can believe in eternity, but he cannot demonstrate eterity. He can experience eternity, but in the consensus reality he cannot make a scientific demonstration that eternity exists. He can play the game as if he were God at the beginning, but again he will realize that he is limited to a brain and a body which function at 310 degrees absolute. So he cannot go to the absolute zero of the void and become that which began before anything else, and he is a conglomeration of at least 26 billion neurons plus 10 degrees quantum operators, quantum observers in that nervous system. One can manipulate, function, program, and metaprogram
this very complex system, but he cannot obliterate it. He cannot start over with it--cannot become a spemm and an egg meeting for the first time.
One can play as if in his own theater of the absurd, of the sublime, of High Indifference, but he cannot possibly know God as the beginning.
. Merrell-Wolff, Franklin, Pathways Through to Space,
New York: Julian